Today was not funny

I was on my way to 1utama to catch GI Joe when all of a sudden, without any warning, the slight pain in my tummy turned into excruciating agony. I cursed the pain and told it to go away. But to no avail, since I ended up in the public toilet.

I was in utmost confusion prior to having my period, and could not bring myself to fathom what was going on. First the knots in my tummy decided to tighten up impromptu and kill me. But at the same time, I felt a strong urge to release my bowels. So I did, but the shit didn't want to come out! Grrr. But at the same time, I suddenly had a sick feeling in my gut and wanted to vomit. And the cramp only fought harder to compete for my attention.

That was it, I couldn't numb myself and try to act strong anymore. In the throes of nearing-death, I let out a cry of distress. What kind of person can handle stomach cramps, constipation, dehydration, and the sick vomit-ty feeling at the same time?

All I could think of was myself at that time. All I wanted to do was to go home, eventhough my mom already bought us tickets for the movie. I coudn't care lest with the abominable pain nagging in me.

At that fleeting moment...

I thought how horrible labour pain was and that I didn't want to put myself through all that.

I wondered how wounded soldiers at war could care for the lives of their fellow comrades when they themselves are in agonizing pain.

I wondered if high-powered CEO women had to take leave when the suffer severe cramps, and miss important business meetings.

And I foolishly thought death would be an easy way out.

The things you think about when you're in pain...

I cried out to God to pause whatever pain or shit or vomit that was going to come out until I got home. Thank you God!

Mom was of great aid despite my loud wailing- giving me a heated-pillow, painkillers and warm water. The heat from the thick padding numbed the cramps. At ease, I closed my eyes and sat on the toilet until I almost fell asleep. (Yes, that's how long I sat there!)

What a horribly horrible episode of my life! It's the first time this has happened. I don't usually get severe cramps, just slight ones that I ignore until it subsidizes. I learnt a new word today: Dysmenorrhea- painful menstruation. I never thought it would happen to me cause my usual symtoms are lethargy and crying spells. ( better to be emotionally affected than to have severe physical pains!)

Why am I blogging about this? Well, this is a pivotal experience in my bloody life. I realise how ignorant I am to my own body; I know so little about how my hormones or my lifestyle can affect my body when its that time of the month. Most girls usually just accept it as it comes and goes.

But I've decided, enough is enough! I am going to look after my body and make sure I eat the right things so that in the next 28 days, there will be no PMS symtoms to take charge of my body. I will not let some severe cramp ruin my day! I am going to fight against the mentality of passively accepting cirmcumstances I should never accept. ( no of course I'm going to bleed, but I'm going to control the symtoms that come before and during the bleeding.)

Women should empower themselves with the right knowlegde and attitude to free themselves of this bondage.

Haha.

So begins my war with PMS.

I will make sure I win!